Justin’s Life Group - Devotions

Day 1 - Proverbs 1:23-33 CEV

'Listen as I correct you and tell you what I think. You completely ignored me and refused to listen; you rejected my advice and paid no attention when I warned you. “So when you are struck by some terrible disaster, or when trouble and distress surround you like a whirlwind, I will laugh and make fun. You will ask for my help, but I won't listen; you will search, but you won't find me. No, you would not learn, and you refused to respect the Lord . You rejected my advice and paid no attention when I warned you. “Now you will eat the fruit of what you have done, until you are stuffed full with your own schemes. Sin and self-satisfaction bring destruction and death to stupid fools. But if you listen to me, you will be safe and secure without fear of disaster.”'

Similar to what Randy shared yesterday, chasing after money and the stuff I could buy was at the heart of my is sinful nature and desires. Drugs, fancy things, attention of women, etc. really got me all jacked up. The more you have the more you want, the less you appreciate what you do have. Everything was about what I want, what I deserved, what was owed to me, etc.

So much time and energy wasted. Time after time after time, doing the same shit and expecting different results and yet, still I kept at it thinking my next big score is around the corner (I wanted the reward with little work or not always the right way). Using to stay up because I was almost there, about to make it, only to run myself into the ground.

Everything came crashing, my world crumbling when Sachi discovered I was living a lie - she was married to an addict; a manipulative, lying, cheating, SOB. I broke her heart and Yujin’s, not once, not twice, but many times. It may not have been death but it may as well have been. The years of pain I caused now turned back onto me.

Fortunately the Lord was not done with me. He had a purpose for my life and allowed me to change, providing forgiveness, even having my family come back together. What God was asking me to do was to trust his way, his timing, his plan.

Learning to get out of God’s way was challenging. Years and years of ingrained behavior that this is the way it should be done vs. giving up control and patiently listening to what He was speaking into my life and following direction, the path He created for me took a long time.

After each step of letting go and believing I was able to continue growing - mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially (responsibly this time). It really takes discipline to stop, wait, listen, and be patient - the effort needed is often overlooked because of how much of a hurry you are to move to the next level, the next step.

Father God, thank you that you do grant us wisdom, helping us make better decisions, those that reflect how much your son, Jesus, has changed our lives. May we take the instructions your word provides, the example that Jesus lives, the prompting of your Holy Spirit and live out our lives in a manner that pleases and honors you. In Jesus’ mighty and powerful name I pray and ask this, amen!

Day 2 - Proverbs 2:16-19 CEV

'Wisdom will protect you from the smooth talk of a sinful woman, who breaks her wedding vows and leaves the man she married when she was young. The road to her house leads down to the dark world of the dead. Visit her, and you will never find the road to life again. '

While wisdom protects those who follow proper instruction, when you are self-absorbed, a liar, manipulator, etc., all that is right and makes sense goes right out the window. Though this proverb speaks on being careful about the other person who is leading you into a trap, I was that person who broke dreams, hearts, homes, and brought destruction instead of building.

Fortunately now because I can see what being like that can do to a person, especially those that get hurt, I am more aware of what to look for, in myself and others. With that I can help others who are going down that path or are being pulled into it.

As I see that paying more attention to what God is speaking into my life through experiences, His Word, and guidance of the Holy Spirit I am now able to pay attention to the strongholds, vices, challenges that once broke my marriage, our home, myself, and I do what I can to help other men, Christian or not.

Watching what I say, how I say things, and the way I carry myself makes a world of difference to those around me, beginning in my home. The road to redemption in my home began with me willing to accept the things I cannot change on my own and asking God to do what only He can through our Lord Jesus.

Father God, may I always want to seek the important things first - You, my Savior Jesus, and fulfilling the plans you have in store for my life for Kingdom purposes. May the decisions I make be based on what you teach us in your Word, how our Lord lived, and the prompting of your Spirit. Want you to be glorified and honored in the words I use and my actions. Thank you Lord Jesus, please have your way in my life and of my family’s. In you alone Lord, amen!

Day 3 - Proverbs 3:11-12 CEV

'My child, don't turn away or become bitter when the Lord corrects you. The Lord corrects everyone he loves, just as parents correct a child they dearly love.'

No one that I know really likes to be corrected, especially if they do not feel they have done anything wrong. The problem is that we are generally the last ones to recognize that we do.

In the past I would become defensive, angry, bitter, and have often lashed out when I felt it wasn’t warranted, though in reality it was definitely needed and correctly deserved. Fortunately over time I could see that correction helps one to grow, to be able to process the junk and deal with the real issues that was happening, not just what is on the surface.

Learning that correction is a positive, good thing helped me to change perspectives. Not always being defensive, accepting that similar to a parent who corrects their child(ren) it is meant for good, even if at the time we don’t like or understand it.

Learning to accept honest criticism, constructive feedback, discipline can be challenging. What I have been working on is actually listening fully, completely, without interruption (for the most part) when I am being corrected or given feedback. Because I realize and understand that I am not perfect, each opportunity I am given to learn and grow helps me draw closer to God and to be available to help others too. This is a sign of maturity and it comes with growing up and accepting that difficult situations can lead to better, greater things. Also that all of this can and is likely done because of how much the other person loves and respects you, not just to punish as most would take it as.

Father God, thank you that you do correct me when I am not on the path that you created for me. Because you love me so much you bring me back to it, allowing me to get back up when I stumble or steer me back when I take a wrong turn. Thank you for your Holy Spirit that guides me like a GPS unit - always bringing me back to you. Lord Jesus, please do unto me as you see fit and is necessary to keep me focused and centered on you. In you mighty and precious name we ask these things. Amen!

Day 4 - Proverbs 4:23-24

'Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life. Never tell lies or be deceitful in what you say.'

When you don’t actively pay attention to what you allow to go on in your head and keep there, you end up doing or saying stupid stuff that normally comes at a price - hurting someone, including yourself. If you are angry, frustrated, or similarly and stay in that same frame of mind, that may lead you to think negatively and if you do not stop it right away it usually does not end well. Remember, hurt people hurt people.

Those that know me have heard me say this before, I will lie to protect my family and those I love if it is to save them from harm or being hurt. Outside of that, there really is no need to. After years of lying from my drug use I know the harm it can cause. Also having to remember all the crap that came out of my mouth only to be caught later because I did not remember what I previously said.

Should thoughts that are not in alignment with what you/we know to be right and true, what the Bible instructs us, stop, take a deep breath and actively, purposefully think of something positive - that God loves you, are not worthless or a piece of junk, that you have, and can add, value to those around you. Focus on happier times if you feel down, go out and do something for someone that is having a bad day, go surf or do something that you enjoy. You do not have to be a product of your past experiences nor let your mind get trapped into believing lies about yourself that the devil is using to draw you away from God.

Dear Heavenly Father thank you that I do not have to be identified by my past nor that my thoughts or what others say about me or how I feel is who I really am. You said I am your child, Lord you said I am your friend. no longer a slave to my past, my sins, you have set me/us free. Help me in the areas of my thought life, the words I choose to believe about myself and use when speaking to others. May I work on telling the truth in all situations even if it hurts doing so. May you always be glorified Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

day 5 - Proverbs 5:22-23

'Sinners are trapped and caught by their own evil deeds. They get lost and die because of their foolishness and lack of self-control.'

You will end up getting caught regardless of how slick you may feel or be. Eventually you slip up and make a mistake, leading to destruction and in trouble - even arrested. When you feel you can do whatever you want, even if you get away with it for a little while, you could very well lose it all in the end and you have no one else to blame for it.

If you do wrong, purposely, choose wrong, because you think no one will know, or continuing doing what you shouldn’t, the only one who truly gets hurt is yourself. Stop trying to be manipulative, conniving, and feeling untouchable because it really is not worth it.

Heavenly Father, please help me to stop doing whatever I want and focus on those areas that I need improvement. May your Holy Spirit be with me, granting me wisdom and peace in all decision making. May my actions, words, and attitude be in alignment. Want you to be glorified in all that I do. Love you and thank you for loving me. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen!

Day 6 - proverbs 6:20-22

'Obey the teaching of your parents— always keep it in mind and never forget it. Their teaching will guide you when you walk, protect you when you sleep, and talk to you when you are awake.'

Definitely an area that I struggled with during my high school years, during and after college, even after having a family. With a single mom who did her best to raise a delinquent son, I did take a bunch of lessons, mainly those seen vs. spoken, and applied them to my life. Among them was generosity even though we were “technically” poor; serve others regardless of who they are; work hard for what you need and even want; appreciate what you have.

The part that pains me is as a parent I totally screwed up when Yujin was young; all he saw was what a bad dad looks like. High on drugs, didn’t spend quality time bonding - doing stuff together, talking, and/or teaching was almost non-existent because I was messed up.

What amazes me is that some of the lessons I did pass on that he took to heart and has served him well. He is respectful, works hard, follow through, high character and morals. Cannot take credit for all of it as his mom had a huge impact in those areas too.

Prayer and learning to forgive your mistakes and asking forgiveness too makes a huge difference. Also to never give up on sharing, teaching because you never know what they will get from it nor will allow them to make better decisions in their lives. Just keep reinforcing what the Bible teaches and the lessons we get from there, alongside your life experiences.

Heavenly Father, please help me in the area of parenting, teaching our kids or any child how to live life as you teach us through your Word, the experiences you allow us to go through, and how it can help them in the future. Thank you for showing us the way and modeling what that life should look like Lord Jesus. May we come to you with childlike faith and always be willing to learn from you as a child ourselves. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

day 7 - Proverbs 7:22-23

'At once he followed her like an ox on the way to be slaughtered, or like a fool on the way to be punished'

When you choose to do foolish stuff, whether due to arrogance, stupidity, gullible, etc. there is a price to pay to, sometimes a high one. In this example it is as if you are a wildebeest purposefully walking into a pride of lions who are very hungry. Knowing what you are about to do is wrong can only lead to a painful experience. Do not get me wrong, it will likely be pleasurable at the moment; just after it is over you then live with the consequences.

For me it was the drugs and women. Both which can corrupt and both which I knowingly made the choice to participate in. No one forced me, I did not get sucked into doing something bad as the proverb shares, I actively wanted to which means I dug my own grave and paid the price for it.

As the saying goes, if it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck, it pretty much is a duck. Paying attention to the areas of your life where you are vulnerable, capable of stumbling because you have no self-control or cannot make the proper decisions, is vital. Asking God for wisdom, guarding your heart and mind through Christ, asking Jesus as your Lord and Savior, inviting the Holy Spirit to fill you and guide you, keeping the Word of God in your heart, etc. is what you should do immediately if you feel tempted or being pulled away.

Dear Heavenly Father, please lead me always. May your Word be a lamp unto my feet, and light to shine upon me; guide me through your Holy Spirit along the path that you created for me. May you be pleased with your lowly servant and allow me to be used for your kingdom’s purposes. Glory to you Father. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 8 - proverbs 8:32-35

'Pay attention, my children! Follow my advice, and you will be happy. Come to my home each day and listen to me. You will find happiness. By finding me, you find life, and the Lord will be pleased with you. Listen carefully to my instructions, and you will be wise.'

Follow, listen, find happiness; find, listen, be wise - to think that is what the Lord is asking us to do. Follow what He is teaching us; listen to the Words He shared and taught = finding happiness. He is also pleased and you will gain wisdom.

Pay attention to what we are taught in the Word, prompting of the Holy Spirit, the experiences we are allowed to go through and learn from each of them. Not only will the Lord be glorified, He is happy with us and, in turn, we find happiness. How simple, profound, and powerful, a simple act of obedience that benefits us mentally and emotionally.

Father God, may we always seek after wisdom, your life changing wisdom. May we seek after your advice in your Word, through prayer and want to make the best decisions possible. Would love to see you pleased with your children, with me, and that happiness follows for doing so. In Jesus’ might name we pray and ask these things. Amen!

day 9 - proverbs 9:9

'If you have good sense, instruction will help you to have even better sense. And if you live right, education will help you to know even more.'

Once you have a strong sense of what is right and wrong, and apply what is right to what you do, and when you are given the opportunity to learn more of what is right, you become even stronger, able to fend off what is wrong without difficulty.

Same would apply in how you live. Not just knowing what is right and wrong, but also demonstrating it in your actions, attitude, and words.

If you continue to seek more wisdom and understanding, this will help you to grow and face challenges and circumstances that will test you, only for you to come out ahead because you know how to handle them properly and better than you used to.

Keep growing by learning. Don’t settle for what you know now as obstacles come and go and you will be better prepared to address them if you continue to learn more.

Father God, help me to continue learning, having the willingness to do so, taking the time to seek what you would have me learn in any given situation - good, bad, or indifferent. May I seek your face and come under the power of your mighty Spirit, providing me, my family, and those I love the proper guidance. We love you Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

Day 10 - proverbs 10:4-5

'Laziness leads to poverty; hard work makes you rich. At harvest season it's smart to work hard, but stupid to sleep.'

Back in 2003-04 when I had some success, some may say tremendous amount, I got complacent, did not think I had to work hard for a while and could cruise. Where I once was the top rep in the division, even the company, I soon became the doodoo boy who could not sell a thing. Not that God was punishing me, what I have come to understand is that He did bless me and would have continued opening doors of opportunity but pride kicked in.

Whether things are going great or not, I have come to a realization that in order to succeed, to take care of my family and obligations, I cannot just sit around, doing nothing, hoping something good will happen just because I deserve it. No where in the Bible does it tell you or I that. Simply put, if you want to eat, you need to work for it.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for encouraging me to keep pushing through. For not letting me get too prideful, arrogant, that I do not have to put in the time nor effort to succeed. Recognizing that you want to bless me as I have asked so that in turn I can be a blessing to others. Not that I give in order to get; that you do say in Malachi to test you faithfulness. More than anything else, please help me with my walk and faith which can always improve and be stronger. May you be glorified Father God, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

day 11 - proverbs 11:2

'Too much pride can put you to shame. It's wiser to be humble.'

I believe I previously shared this with the group, but for those of you new, I was once on top in the previous organization I was with for over 15 years. It was in the first year I was with the company, I had the highest sales across the country and blew my numbers out of the water in our first major campaign. Instead of enjoying the blessings God had bestowed on me and quietly keep pushing through, I let my arrogance get the best of me and in the next campaign failed miserably. Mind you it was not be a little, it was as if I decided not to work completely.

The company went from loving me to basically believing it was just a fluke, a case of dumb beginner’s luck and then it all came crashing down. What happened was that instead of continuing to work hard, caring for those whom God had entrusted me to serve, I decided that surfing and goofing off was the call for the next couple of months. While I acknowledged what God had done in and through me when I succeeded, my big head got the best of me and forgot the goodness that was bestowed upon me and my family. The fall was much farther than the climb up.

Never forget that what you have materially, what you may have built, what successes you have encountered, all that is because God allowed it to be. Never take the glory due to Him for yourself. Not only will you see those things you thought you cherished disappear, your blessings, the joy and love that He provides may dry up as well for a season or more. Not that stops loving us, it is to get our hearts right and honor Him in all that we do and say, including our attitudes.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you each and every time I get to look back and see where I failed and forgot who you are in all that has happened in my life when I succeeded. May I never forget to honor you in my walk, my talk, and may my life be lived out in manner that pleases and brings joy to you. You created all Heaven and earth, we are nothing without you Lord Jesus. It is in you and you alone that place our trust and hope, amen!

day 12 - proverbs 12:13

'We trap ourselves by telling lies, but we stay out of trouble by living right.'

This was very apparent during my drug and alcohol days. Fueled by being high, not wanting to be caught or to be seen as an addict, a “loser,” you often resort to doing stuff, saying things a normal, straight-thinking person does not. The cycle of B.S. you keep spewing often has you being on the defensive, which leads to aggression and outbursts to cover up your shenanigans and deceit. The very people you say you would never lie to or hurt are the very ones that got it the most.

The stress of having to remember what shit you said and to whom you said it to is exhausting. Simply much easier to tell the truth, even if it is painful, rather than to live stressed out that someone will find you out, uncovering the real person, or really the fake person, that you are. All the pain that is associated with the lies are not worth the temporary pleasure you may be experiencing. Regardless of what it is that needs to be said, best to come straight with it and have the opportunity for understanding and reconciliation where healing can take place rather than needless suffering lying causes once you open your big mouth and let it out.

God, help me to committed to telling the truth, even if it hurts doing so. I know that how I feel today because of doing so is only temporary and you will see me through it all. May my family and I live out our lives in a manner that honors you, and that is where we need help in this area when speaking to each other. Thank you for your grace, it is enough. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 13 - proverbs 13:20

'Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools.'

During my drug & alcohol days I know that I enjoyed the company of those doing the same stupid stuff I was. Instead of listening to those who were trying to help, I found myself drawn more to the bullshit I was hearing from the very people who were going downhill with me. While it all sounded great at the time, but once you reflect on the crap you are being fed, it all becomes clear how dumb it really was. What is worse is you falling for it.

If you want to be more successful, loving, patient, etc., stick around people who are and act in that manner. The more you do as they live the Christ-like life you want to resemble, you become more of that each and every day - not because of who they are, but who Jesus is. When he places great people in your life, hang around those guys and build strong, genuine relationships.

Father God, help us in the areas of our relationships; to be around those that edify, love, and live out their lives as our Lord Jesus did. Surround us with positive, God-fearing, bible teaching, Jesus believing brothers that will ride-and-die for each other and your Kingdom’s purposes. In Jesus alone I ask these things, amen!

day 14 - proverbs 14:29

'It's smart to be patient, but it's stupid to lose your temper.'

I cannot count the number of times I wish this was ingrained in me. Instead of taking the time to process, think things through, speak with whomever I may have misunderstood, I let me big mouth run and cause more problems than was necessary. If only I had stopped, taken a deep breath, waited a few minutes to gather my thoughts, composure, to think things through, many relationships (new and old) could have been saved rather than destroyed. How quickly things can escalate when you are not willing to take the time to understand everything that was said and/or done and you react harshly, unprofessionally, un-Christ-like, and now you are the donkey.

Learning to take everything in before speaking has helped. What I am trying to do more often than not is to let the other side finish, ask if there is anything else, then let them know I need a few minutes to process (basically to ask God/Jesus to help calm me down and compose myself), then to speak with words of understanding and love, hoping for a win/win outcome. Now as I get older and wiser, realizing that jumping to conclusions, getting upset, and not really caring about how the other feels when I open my big fat mouth has consequences which results in no one being happy, satisfied, and the situation resolved. Taking the time to understand how the other feels and allowing them to get their point across shows you care and, more often than not, they sense it too and want to work more to resolve any differences.

Dear Heavenly Father, as you have been so patient with me even after all the mistakes and missteps, I am asking for your help that I can show the same mercy and grace to others as your have done in my life and of my families. May my big mouth be held shut when needed, and only to open when I have fully taken the time to understand the other person’s point of view or situation and see how we can resolve things in a manner that is win/win and pleases you. In Jesus’ matchless name I pray, amen!

day 15 - proverbs 15:15-17

'The poor have a hard life, but being content is as good as an endless feast. It's better to obey the Lord and have only a little, than to be very rich and terribly anxious. A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred.'

All 3 covers the same issue: when you want more than what you have because you believe it will make you feel better, happier, full, you deceive yourself and end up losing in the end. When you cannot enjoy what you have because you keep chasing after big, badder, better, “stuff” you will end up pushing yourself each and every time to get that next “Big” thing - cars, homes, toys, etc. only to see it collect dust and, ultimately, to be thrown away or perhaps sold because now you no more $$$ because of foolish spending and keeping up with the Joneses and have to pay off what you owe.

This did happen a few times in my life because I was so focused on money and trying to make more and more, even with the use of drugs it did not stop and I could not see to get a handle on my life. Used the excuse of I am doing it for my family, to provide for them, to give them better stuff, blah blah blah, basically a pile of horse doo doo.

Now my pake side kicks in and if I do not need it, I am likely not going to buy or get it. Not that I have a handle on it 100%, but what I can say is it no longer has a hold on me. I have been working on is if I really need it or simply want it; if it is the former, do I have the funds to purchase it. If neither than I have been able to walk away and forget about it.

Example are my bodyboards, I still have the same old ones I bought 5 & 10+ years ago. Still works so I just keep using it. In the past I would buy a couple of custom boards, never really getting to use either much in a given year. Ended up looking at it and saying what a waste and no longer needed to get more. Not that I do not want to buy others, just that I really could not use it any more than the (2) I have now.

Father God, thank you for being our provider. May my family and I be content with what you provide us and that we have. Just like you giving to us what we need (mercy, grace, love) instead of what we deserve (death, judgment, etc.), may we always be content and look more for your presence, your wisdom, simply You and that is enough, may it always be enough. In Jesus matchless name we pray, amen!

day 16 - proverbs 16:8,16

'It's better to be honest and poor than to be dishonest and rich. It's much better to be wise and sensible than to be rich.'

You know it is important to pay attention to what is written when it is mentioned twice not just in the Bible in general, but in the same chapter that you are reading. What this tells me is that having $$$ is not all that it is cracked up to be. With riches you can still lose it all whereas being honest and wise is likely not going to leave you if with a sincere heart and used properly.

Money comes and goes, so make sure to not change despite having or not having much of it. Use your brain, common sense and wisdom (experience) and do good using it. While you may not get materially wealthy, the joy and satisfaction you gain from dealing honestly and choosing wisely is far more important now and in the future. Want to be an example to my son, other family members, friends, and associates who, hopefully, will praise and honor God by doing the same.

Father God, let me not be consumed by riches, material wealth, and all the trappings that may come with it. May we, my family and I, strive to serve you and others. As you weigh us, may I not be found wanting and that you would always be glorified in my actions, words, & attitude. In you alone Lord Jesus we ask these things, amen!

day 17 - proverbs 17:14

'The start of an argument is like a water leak— so stop it before real trouble breaks out.'

If you have ever been told to shut up before you regret what comes out of your mouth, you will understand the meaning of this passage. Disaster happens when common sense leaves your brain before the wrong words escape; this rings so true for all of us and this proverb does say it well. Like they say, you cannot take back what has already been said.

You can apologize, yet it likely will not minimize the hurt, the pain you caused because of your inability to control your tongue. So many times I have let my temper, my self-righteousness, poor attitude to get the best of me and let hot lava spew from my big, fat mouth. Time really does not heal, only Jesus can and does. Time, in fact, can exacerbate the situation by allowing what was said stew and fester, like a deadly disease it continues to eat away the good areas of your life until you ask and get help. Not that you should not say sorry, just be sure it is heartfelt and you do so willingly.

Before you find yourself in a situation where the words you are about to release will be detrimental to your relationship with someone, take the time to consider if what you are going to say is worth it. Not that you do not have the right to do so. Just ask yourself if it will cause harm vs. good. Will it cause problems now and in the future? Does anyone benefit from what you have to say? The following verses clears up what we should be doing:

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT) - Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT) - So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

Dear Heavenly Father, I do know my past with my uncontrolled tongue has got me into way more trouble than was needed and necessary. You allowed me to learn from those mistakes regardless of how painful it was. Thank you that you did so for me to come to the realization that the pain inflicted would only serve to harm me in the end. Grateful that you spared my life when there were times someone could have taken mine for the way I acted and spoke to them. You are our redeemer, thank you for forgiving and giving me the opportunity to correct my ways. May I continue to look to you Lord Jesus as the example to live by - action, words, attitude; all in alignment with you is what I want for myself and family. In your mighty name and timeless name, Jesus, we pray, amen!

day 18 - proverbs 18:2,13

'Fools have no desire to learn, instead they would rather give their own opinion. It's stupid and embarrassing to give an answer before you listen.'

How true this is. If you are only willing to offer your advice when you should be taking it in shows how much of a fool you are. Or when you answer before you hear all the details or none at all. Like they say, advice or opinions are like a belly button, everyone has them whether good or bad. In my younger days, 30s to mid-40s, I would be very quick to interject or sway people with what I felt was persuasive arguments when I had no clue or may not have known much to begin with on the topic(s) at hand. Found myself in awkward positions where I dug myself a deep hole and was unable to climb out of because I wasn’t paying attention and said stuff that didn’t make sense.

There are times it is best to shut up and simply pay attention and listen. Even if you think you have something amazing to say, don’t offer it up unless you are asked to. Before you do, best to rephrase what the discussion is about to get the proper pretext and context, ensuring that you are able to answer intelligently or humbly bow out before you fail miserably.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt
~Abraham Lincoln~

Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NLT) - A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that you allowed me to go through the trials that my big mouth led me to. The painful lessons of speaking more than listening has rang true in my life on many occasions and I am grateful that I can look back now and see where things went wrong. There were opportunities for me to grow, to apologize for my lack of understanding, knowledge, and wisdom in areas I thought I could contribute but should have simply been listening instead.

You always know what is best for us and experiences like corrections, even when uncomfortable, can help us grow in a deeper more meaningful relationship with you and others. May we learn to listen twice as often as we speak; as you gave us (2) ears and only (1) mouth. Help us to always focus on what you are wanting us to learn from these experiences. May you, Father, be glorified. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen!

Day 19 - proverbs 19:15,24

'If you are lazy and sleep your time away, you will starve. Some people are too lazy to lift a hand to feed themselves.'

There was a time that I really didn’t care much about anything other than getting high; finding my next fix, not wanting to work, simply wanted to live off of Sachi and do nothing. While I may have gone on benders where I did not sleep for many days, I do recall that I ended up sleeping for days to recover. I do know that I was quite lazy and didn’t do much to help out at all, expecting that whatever needs to be done will be, just not by me. Instead of having some pride in myself I really didn’t care much and lost all self-respect from everyone, including me.

Seeing that I was being so useless and it was affecting everything and everyone around me, I am fortunate that the Lord got a hold of me when He did before I really slipped away, not ever coming back from the darkness that I placed myself in. Doing nothing and expecting to get everything was one of those stupid dreams, fantasies where money would just come out of nowhere and I deserved it. Fast forward many years later and I learned there is no free lunch. Even if you are not paying for it someone else is. Just glad that God showed me a much better way and that I need to work and stop focusing on my pipe dreams - all the rewards with no effort.

Thank you Father God for giving me the opportunity to grow in the profession I am in, the new business you are allowing us to grow; help us to be a blessing to the community and to honor you. We ask for wisdom to make the best decisions possible; we ask for favor and that doors of opportunity would open so we can help more families; we ask for strength to help see us through the times that are challenging; we ask for courage to help us be more obedient and faithful even when we do not know what to expect as the outcome is in your hands. We love and want to honor you, in Jesus name we pray, amen!

day 20 - proverbs 20:6,9,27

'Our inner thoughts are a lamp from the Lord , and they search our hearts. There are many who say, “You can trust me!” But can they be trusted? Can any of us really say, “My thoughts are pure, and my sins are gone”?'

Chose a mixture of these because of what it means to me: I have heard that when our mind and hearts are in alignment we draw closer to God. When we can reflect on what we think, what we do, how we are behaving/acting, etc., we can actually see how close or far we are from living our lives out in a manner that pleases Him. that is according to His Word, to being more like our Lord and Savior Jesus. Having this ability and opportunity is a blessing which we need to embrace more often, like each and every day.

When someone does say “trust me,” deep down inside we all have reservations if that person is being sincere. If you have to say it most likely you that the other party does not to begin with. Only when you really have come to be around someone, had a meal together, spend time with them and their family, see how the act and speak, etc. do you ever have a chance to “know” who they are. We have been disappointed for less.

Saying all my thoughts are pure would be a big fat lie. I do look at other women, daydream of having this or that (though much less than I used to, it has not completely gone away), aggression issues when driving (not yelling and screaming out my window, but still a silent dickhead who complains as the window is rolled up.

Very fortunate that we do have a lamp shining on our thought life, even actions and words. Without it we would tend to do whatever we want regardless if it is healthy or not. Seeing the destruction that I have caused with my words and actions does force one to reflect on his/her behavior and how much pain it caused the other person, including yourself.

Over the years I have worked the saying “trust me” out of my vocabulary. If I cannot demonstrate why someone should, they are likely going to be suspicious regardless. Better of proving that you are than to promise and fall flat in your words.

While I am a work-in-progress, I do know there is room for improvement in the area of purity - in my actions, words, & thought life. This I need to turn over to the Lord more consistently, at least when it happens and stop myself from moving forward until it is addressed.

Oh gracious and merciful Heavenly Father, thank you that you do shine a light into our lives and where it is dark and negative, you bring the light and positivity back into it. May you help me in the areas to be “trustworthy” and to be pure in heart. Want you to be glorified and honored Father God by my words and actions. In Jesus’ matchless name, amen!

day 21 - proverbs 21:2-3

'We may think we are doing the right thing, but the Lord always knows what is in our hearts. Doing what is right and fair pleases the Lord more than an offering.'

One of the sayings that I share with our employees, and I have done this at my previous job of over 15 years, is that we should always do what is right, regardless of the outcome, all the time. It is often easiest to run away from problems, to place blame when you should own it, or simply do a half-ass job because you do not feel like it today.

When it says it pleases the Lord more than an offering when we do that we really are not paying a price for doing so, but the consequences of not can be a very high one.

There are times we become challenged by this. When doing so is “inconvenient” or difficult or even painful. What I have learned from my experiences of lying and doing terrible stuff during my drug days is that having to look over your shoulders fearful that you would be found out and exposed is very exhausting. No one benefits from it so why start in the first place.

How fantastic it is to know that the Lord is pleased with us when we do what is right. If we believe he provides & protects, why would we need to anything else. We would live productive, happier, and more fulfilling lives by simply following that rule.

Heavenly Father, help us to always do what is right because it not only honors you, it actually pleases you. May we always live out our lives that it does so and bring glory to you and a smile on your face. When we start going off course and not doing so, Lord, please steer me back to the path you laid out for me and my family. All the glory and honor to you Father God. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 22 - proverbs 22:6

' Teach your children right from wrong, and when they are grown they will still do right.'

While I my dad was around when we were very young, he never really taught us anything. When he left there wasn’t a male role model in our lives at all. As Yujin was younger, I could see that while I was at home I really did not have the skillset or knowledge that would have been passed on from learning it through my dad.

Though I would like to take credit that he never got in the same trouble I did or had the same issues, that is totally a God thing and that Sachi was a stable force that he could run to. She taught him by demonstrating love, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc. There were some lessons that I passed on that he still keeps today, or at least I believe he still does - do not lie, do not put others down, be respectful to your elders are a few examples.

This would be a great reminder for all parents and adults how they can help our next generation. Too many are lost and have to direction nor guidance and discipline, causing them to try and figure out things on their own. In my life that was a disaster and all I can hope is for my fellow brothers-in-Christ are stepping up, being responsible men, showing their kids and other keikis how men should act and speak, to do what is right all the time. Not out of convenience, but that it is always what should be done. God is our judge, he loves it when we honor him by doing what he taught us in the Bible and through our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Father God, help us as men - fathers, sons, husbands, friends, business owners, servants live out our lives in a manner that pleases and honors you. As we are molded in your image, let the life that our Savior Jesus live be the model of how we raise our children. May their words and actions reflect that and help us to make the proper course corrections where and when needed. We would love it if our kids come to know you in a deep and meaningful relationship too, allowing them to continue doing what is right from the lessons we are given the opportunity to teach them. We thank you Lord, in Jesus’ mighty and matchless name we pray, amen!

Day 23 - proverbs 23:13-14

'Don't fail to correct your children. You won't kill them by being firm, and it may even save their lives.'

Even though I made plenty of mistakes with Yujin while he was growing up, the one thing that I am so very grateful to the Lord is that he did not turn out as bad as I was when I was his age nor did he get involved with the same stuff I had.

My one big fear was that all the anguish, turmoil, fear, anger, bitterness, and other emotions would have caused him to go off the deep end. So very fortunate that God had other plans for him and he turned out to be a great kid.

There were times that he actually did do the things I told him to and it has paid off for his career and life. Though not everything, like coming to know Jesus, changing some of the bad habits he still has, or even the things he says, etc. yet overall I cannot be disappointed one bit.

Don’t ever stop teaching, be willing to give advice when sought out, or a listening ear when your children are still struggling. Wish I could have gone to my dad for help when I was growing up so I wouldn’t have stumbled so much as a father when Yujin was younger. Just glad I still have a chance to influence him while I am still around.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am filled with gratitude and appreciation for allowing Yujin to grow into the man that he is today. That the past, my past and how I treated him and Sachi did not turn him into someone that was worse than me. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to be the proper dad to him. Open his heart that he would come to know you, Jesus, as his personal Lord and Savior. That would be the greatest gift I could receive as a father knowing that you child knows You. In your mighty and majestic name I pray, amen!

day 24 - proverbs 24:26

'Giving an honest answer is a sign of true friendship.'

Recently I sent a message to someone I care very deeply for about walking away from a partnership that was several months in the making. In time leading up to my decision there were telltale signs that there may be issues that would arise that we could not resolve amicably, even with concessions I would have to make.

While it sucks saying what I did, it really was for the benefit of everyone involved that it had to be done. Professionally, financially, emotionally, it will be best for him in the long run. Though he may not necessarily see it right now, in the big scheme of things it will be. The part that sucks is that we have not spoken since that message was sent to him last week and I am not sure how he is doing, feeling, and where we go from here. As he is a Christian, I am hoping he is going to accept it and move forward without any bitterness and anger while allowing our friendship to stay intact.

Fear cannot be the driving force to not say something that is important to both sides. Though it may hurt the other temporarily, not doing so and lying to yourself that it will all work out eventually will cause more harm than good. It also gives the other side a false sense of hope that we can get through this when, in reality, it is better to go our separate ways. Understandably there is going to be disappointment from him and it has on my side as well. Only know that because I love him dearly that what was said needed to have been done so much earlier than I waited for.

Father God, thank you for the opportunity to have a deep and meaningful conversation with B and Check. While I was hoping we could resolve all of our issues to move forward, definitely feel that the weight has been lifted and that we can move forward in our relationships as friends though not business partners. I do humbly ask for your hands to be upon B and his family; that they will be blessed, that doors of opportunity would open and that your flood gates would as well. Pour out your blessings on them and allow them to have tremendous success. May you be glorified Father God when his business succeeds and takes care of people in the community. We always want to honor you in all that we do. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen!

day 25 - proverbs 25:21

'If your enemies are hungry, give them something to eat. And if they are thirsty, give them something to drink.'

Do what is opposite of what people would expect when someone says terrible things, does bad things, about and to you - be kind; feed them and quench their thirst. Not always easy to do this because, as human beings, we want to get revenge or simply not be nice to that person.

Regardless of how much the other side has hurt you, stay kind and do what the Lord says, feed and refresh that person even if it “kills” you. Ultimately you are not the judge or jury and that is in the hands of the Lord after that.

Father God, help me not to use any opportunity to glorify you by being selfish - getting upset, getting even, when someone has said horrible things or wants to bad things to me and/or my family. Teach me to treat them with respect and love and leave that situation in your hands to deal with at a later time. May our lives be lived out to honor and glorify you Father. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 26 - proverbs 26:20

'Where there is no fuel a fire goes out; where there is no gossip arguments come to an end.'

Never liked beginning and/or participating in gossip because it really is counterproductive and it just hurts everyone involved - the person you are speaking about, the person you are speaking to, and yourself. Not letting the other person to defend themselves and also to hear and know their side just shows how ignorant and arrogant you are. Am I the judge of this person? No, and I would not like to be the person others are speaking about.

When it begins I try to walk away or ask the question, how does what you say benefit you, me, and the person the are talking about? Usually that stops the conversation but at times you just have to say I do not want to hear what is being said because that person is not here to share their side and to defend themselves which is not fair. I do not want to hurt anyone because I participated in a some stupid gossip that may very well be full of doodoo.

Dear Heavenly Father, as I do not want to be the center of any negative conversation, let our words and actions reflect our Lord and Savior Jesus. May what we say be uplifting, edifying, strengthening and not those that tear down and hurt. We ask for your Holy Spirit to be with us in our conversations, regardless if it is people we love or not. May you always be glorified by our actions and speech. Thank you for being so patient with me; may we do the same for those you have placed in our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 27 - proverbs 27:4

'An angry person is dangerous, but a jealous person is even worse.'

It is easy to believe that they both are the same. A simple definition for both:

Anger - a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism

Jealous - hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage

Where jealousy can lead to anger; this is more selfishly driven. Anger is usually towards one person or where 2 people are involved whereas jealously is between 3. You can walk away from being angry and get better but jealousy can really be damaging - to yourself and the one you feel towards.

Whether anger or jealousy is worse, both serve notice that it is a condition that must be controlled and resolved or it will lead to very bad circumstances and outcomes. Anger is usually easier because an apology will likely diffuse the situation where jealousy potentially leads one off the deep end - revenge namely the chef outcome.

Father God, help me to control the areas of my life where I may get angry, frustrated, and especially jealous. You are in control of every situation even when I do not see it. Please help me to lay my emotions, feelings, at your feet and ask that you take hold of every areas that causes me to not be in alignment with how I should live, speak, act, and think. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

day 28 - proverbs 28:6

'It's better to be poor and live right, than to be rich and dishonest.'

Empty is how I would put it; how I felt while chasing after money when I was younger. With my focus and desire for more, I did cut corners, I did not always to what was right, I cannot say that I never cheated my way.

Perfect example is in my old job - I knew that every year we would have a contest or two. What I would do is get a nice size contract signed, not date it, and wait until the contest came around to put it in. I got quite a bit of prizes - monetary and physical, which if I did not stash those contracts I would likely not have won, let alone qualify. What ultimately happened is that I hurt my customer by not putting in their contract in time, thus they waited until their marketing programs would launch which definitely had an effect on their business. Also, my fellow co-workers, some of whom I still have a good relationship with today, were left out of having what should have been theirs - computers, stereos, money, etc.

Like the earlier proverb where when you are full even honey does not taste so good, but when you are hungry it satisfies your craving. Instead of eating until I was satisfied, I always ate until I was full and then some, unable to move and breath well. What I have learned is that there is a point where too much is just that, especially if you are not doing what you should in a healthy, correct manner.

Now as we run our business I am working to ensure we are always doing what is right by the customer, not just what it is in it for me/us. I know that God has always taken care of my family and I, so how can I now begin to forget the goodness of the Lord. We are in a position to be a blessing, not a curse and burden on others. At the end of the day, I need to know we are living out our lives in a manner that pleases and glorifies our Heavenly Father.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for changing hearts, including mine, and that I do not have to cheat my way to the top. Success, hard work, being honest, and actually caring for those we serve needs to be paramount and I want to always honor you in my living out this. Our needs are satisfied by you Lord. May we always remember that you, alone, are our provider. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 29 - proverbs 29:11,22

'Don't be a fool and quickly lose your temper— be sensible and patient. A person with a quick temper stirs up arguments and commits a lot of sins.'

Certainly can see a lot of this in me during my drug days and several years into sobriety. What is challenging is actually recognizing that you are the cause of the problems, not everyone else who I blamed. Instead of listening, all I wanted to do is be heard. Instead of being calm I used to get all worked up and even the slightest notion that you were attacking led me on the offensive and there was no going backwards on what would come out of my mouth.

Fast forward today at least I know I am able to handle difficult situations and conversations much better because I can see if this is an attack or constructive criticism; at times I would mix the two as one in the same. Because I am not as hot tempered, I am able to control a lot of my emotions that would lead me to sinning - vengeful thoughts, angry words, uncaring attitudes, etc. What I try to do first is take a deep breath, soak in what was or is being said, and before I act out I take it all in; from there it is prayer, then ask myself what can I learn from that experience and move forward.

Gracious and merciful God, thank you that you do not lose your temper every time I make a mistake or did something that displeases you. Help me when I start becoming the person who is a “fool” and not doing what you have asked and taught us. Lord Jesus, thank you for being the example of a life worth living - may our words, actions, and attitudes be in alignment with you and your teachings. In Jesus’ matchless and tireless name, amen!

day 30 - proverbs 30:8-9

'Make me absolutely honest and don't let me be too poor or too rich. Give me just what I need. If I have too much to eat, I might forget about you; if I don't have enough, I might steal and disgrace your name.'

This is a life lesson which I wished I had learned early on in life. With my desire to have nice stuff, more stuff, better stuff, really just stuff, I was not above taking what I felt I deserved. Stealing was just the beginning of chasing after the wind. When I did work to get what I wanted, though I would have thought it would satisfy me, it did nothing to quench my thirst for even more.

What I realized years ago is that I was only truly lacking in was self-worth. Believing I needed to have all that others had in order to feel good about myself or where I was in life. If I had this I needed that because that was what they did. From cars, clothes, food, etc. it was a never-ending cycle. To make it worse, I fueled myself with drugs to keep going thinking that if I work longer, harder that I would make more - just to get more. Fortunately that all came crashing down years ago through my days of recovery.

When I start focusing on what I do not have, I bring it back to thank God on what I do - a wonderful family - incredibly forgiving and loving wife & a son who turned out to be a fantastic young man despite how terrible of a dad I was to him; a home, not just a house; a new business that gives me an opportunity to build to serve the community; vehicles to drive and gas to move it; clothes on our back and food in our bellies.

No longer is it I am driving a Nissan vs I used to drive a Range Rover and why can I not have that any more; I live in Kalama Valley vs. I used to live in Kahala and why, Lord, can I not live there any more; I used to make 6 figures and now I have not made anything for the past year. Complaining has been replaced with gratitude, although there are times I have drifted into the negative thinking. Just glad I do not stay there like I used to.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that you are our provider, protector, and you know exactly what we need. Thank you for not giving me what I want because, knowing now, I was ill prepared to handle that if I got it. Thank you for preparing me for a better way to manage my life as I was so out of control for so long. Thank you Lord Jesus for being the way and being the example for which we can live out our lives in honor and glory to God, our Father. May you always be our portion, that you are enough, that we can trust and believe you will always be there to provide throughout our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen!

day 31 - proverbs 31:3

'Don't waste your life chasing after women! This has ruined many kings.'

Advice that every man needs to hear and know. Wish I learned this when I was younger. So easy to want to chase after “prey” like a wild animal whose sole focus is on where his next meal is coming from and will do anything to quench his thirst and fill his empty stomach. Same can be told when chasing after the next woman because you cannot be happy with the one you are with.

Throughout history many men, rich and powerful, had their own downfall from doing the same thing that this proverb teaches - chasing after women. All for pleasure that is temporary and will fade away, like beauty, like the sunset.

Father God, please help me to focus on you, on our Lord and Savior Jesus, to love my wife, Sachi, and my family, as you love us. May my eyes not wander nor my heart or mind lust after what is not mine. Please always be the center of my life and to whom I go to when I struggle in this area. May your Holy Spirit invade every area of my life and fill me up so that I won’t need to. May I glorify you Father and honor my covenant marriage, the promise to love and protect Sachi, and to only be with her. In Jesus’ name, amen!